Living with Baba

It was in the year 1980. There was a DMC program at Allahabad. During that period I gave progress reports three times daily on P&S. P&S means Paincajanya  and Sadabrata . In the reporting session, I had to inform Baba about the number of blocks in the Delhi Sector covered by P&S, and the number of districts covered by the program outside the Delhi Sector. When Baba introduced any program for the first time, He gave tremendous pressure for its implementation. It was my duty at that time to submit the progress reports thrice daily. It was also not possible for me to ever give a negative report to Baba. Hence, at all three reporting sessions, I used to report only progress, both in and outside Delhi sector.

All the wholetimers from north India had come to Allahabad for the DMC. In the first day of DMC, Baba punished me severely during the night reporting session. It was almost midnight. At that time, I felt that not a single field worker was serious about the fact that Baba wanted progress reports. They were very relaxed and were all sleeping soundly. I thought that if they did not work in the field, if they did not show any progress to me, how could I possibly give a good report to Baba? Although I did not have any chance to work in the field, I had to report to Baba. And He took these reports very seriously.

I reacted very strongly to this situation. Even though it was after midnight, I called all the workers, and took progress reports from them. Nobody could give me a satisfactory report. They were all punished for their inaction. After that, I went to lie down. I could not sleep, however. I thought that I would surely be punished again tomorrow after the reporting session.

Without my knowledge the following morning, all the workers went to PA Dada (the dada assigned as Baba's Personal Assistant) and complained, "Last night DPS  dada punished all the workers after midnight!"

When Baba went for a field walk, I used to accompany Him. While sitting in the car, I gave Him the latest report on P&S. While reporting, Baba interrupted me and asked, "You punished all the workers last night?" I immediately understood that PA Dada had already reported the incident to Him. I kept silent. Then, in a very loving and tender way, Baba said, "Certainly I punished you. But if you also punish all the workers, they may react. I understand your reaction."

Baba continued, "You know, I punished you because I know you can tolerate it. By punishing you I wanted to give an example to all the junior workers what it is like to be a Central Dada, so that they can see if it is an easy or hard life. I wanted to make them responsible. When these junior workers see that for their inaction, Central Dadas have to undergo so much punishment, they will become more responsible; they will respect you. I wanted to make you an example."

Immediately, all the bad feelings inside me evaporated. I understood Baba. Although I was sitting just next to Him in the car, I was unable to look at Him directly. How loving His words were to me! Tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt His infinite love. This is my Guru. This is my Father. I cried then not because of His punishment but out of sheer gratitude. I thought how long would my Baba hide Himself from the world? When will the people really begin to understand Him? When will the people realize His true identity - as Lord of the Universe? His scolding, punishment and intense pressure to complete any assignment were only external. I can never forget how tenderly He spoke those words to me, "I know you can tolerate it. By punishing you I wanted to give to the junior workers an example." Even today I can hear those blissful words in my mind.