Living with Baba

Baba is a doctor - a spiritual doctor. He often prescribes medicine which is bitter, through different forms of reproach or punishment, to heal us of our vanity, lethargy, laziness and indiscipline. But His harsh prescription is tinged with divine love and affection.

Once, Baba punished me very severely. I felt really bad after the punishment. I thought to myself that He was always punishing me. He seems to hardly love me at all. Well, then I will not talk to Him. Thinking these thoughts, I resolved not to talk to Him again.

After a moment, I realized that there was no way I could carry out my decision, as I had to report to Him thrice daily. There was simply no way of avoiding Baba. I was in a fix. I became more agitated thinking about the situation. There was simply no solution to this problem.

It happened that at that time, Baba gave a particular Prabhat Samgiit. It was called 'Tumi amar dhyaner dhyeya tumi amar pranera priya.' I did not hear this song at the time Baba gave it, so I was not aware of its lyrics or tune. When I again entered His room for reporting, the first thing He asked me was how I liked the new song.

I could not respond to His query, as I had not heard it before. Then, Baba Himself sang a particular line from that song: "Tumi knadaiya jadi....toma tare knadite dio." It means, "By making me cry, if You feel happy, then let me cry for You."

Hearing these soft, soothing words sung with so much love, my tears flowed freely. I realized in a flash that when He punishes, He heals at the same time. It was uncanny. The lyrics and the timing of the song exactly fitted my own situation, as if He created the song just for me!